April 9, 2019

At my late husband’s funeral the church would not allow the song, Across the Universe by the Beatles to be played. I didn’t want his funeral held at a church because Brett was an atheist, but the liaisons from the Kansas City Kansas Police Department – KCKPD told me that we needed room for over 500 officers to attend. Brett did not die by suicide because he was an atheist, (suicide does not discriminate any religion or non religion) but being an atheist was something he kept hidden from everyone. He did not want the #BoyScouts to know for fear of losing his position as District Commissioner and losing the people he worked with. To him it was better to just blend in and not be his true self around others…to not be judged or excluded from something that he loved and was connected to so dearly. I have so many thoughts about that, but instead I’m just going to play the song.
#itsnotyourfault
#postventionisprevention
#abovetherug

April 7, 2019

Before my late husband ended his life he was stealing. Brett was a Sergeant for the Kansas City Kansas Police Department – KCKPD and he was stealing. He was reckless with his behavior even when I met him back in 1998 when I was 15…he was stealing back then too. He stole art supplies…city signs….posters…
That last year of his life he started stealing right in front of me at the grocery store. I felt so ashamed, scared and would plead with him to stop. He had total disregard for my feelings and did what he wanted…and laughed too. He said that the grocery store owed it to him. Those last weeks before he died, he gave me a police department lanyard for my teacher ID and started stocking my classroom with office supplies from the police department..I remember he told me he could get me anything I needed, but I told him to please stop…that I didn’t need anything. Sometimes I am relieved that I don’t have to go through that anymore, but what I really wish is that he would have sought professional help and seen value in himself.
#itsnotyourfault
#postventionisprevention
#abovetherug

April 6, 2019

Tonight, 24 of my new artworks for my #FacesAfterSuicide exhibit, that no one has seen before, will be on display at the The J KC – Jewish Community Center for their #FireinTheHeart show. This show includes 20 other artists who’s art helps other’s process, heal, and/or transcend traumatic events in our lives. I can’t wait to meet everyone and hear their stories. And thank you to the JCC for matting and framing all of my art ❤️
#itsnotyourfault
#postventionisprevention
#abovetherug

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March 14, 2019

Last night, co-responders from Olathe/ Overland Park Kansas and my support group SASS-MoKan – Suicide Awareness Survivor Support had our first meeting together. We are teaming together with emergency services to be that bridge for suicide loss survivors and get them the support they need and deserve after a loss has happened. It also felt good to share with the co-responders how the Kansas City Kansas Police Department – KCKPDhandled me the night I found my husband and the days following. They listened and took note what NOT to do for future loss survivors. I am proud to be a part of this team.
#itsnotyourfault
#postventionisprevention
#abovetherug

March 9, 2019

Started at 6:30 am this morning setting up for my next 2nd #FacesAfterSuicide exhibit at Avila University. It’s a little after 4pm and nothing is hung, but it’s a good start. Thanks to all those who are taking the time to write a letter for the exhibit and the organizations for mailing resources for the viewers to learn more about and take away..it really creates an impact for the viewers 🌻
#itsnotyourfault
#postventionisprevention
#abovetherug