April 7, 2019

abovetherug

Before my late husband ended his life he was stealing. Brett was a Sergeant for the Kansas City Kansas Police Department – KCKPD and he was stealing. He was reckless with his behavior even when I met him back in 1998 when I was 15…he was stealing back then too. He stole art supplies…city signs….posters…
That last year of his life he started stealing right in front of me at the grocery store. I felt so ashamed, scared and would plead with him to stop. He had total disregard for my feelings and did what he wanted…and laughed too. He said that the grocery store owed it to him. Those last weeks before he died, he gave me a police department lanyard for my teacher ID and started stocking my classroom with office supplies from the police department..I remember he told me he could get me anything I needed, but I told him to please stop…that I didn’t need anything. Sometimes I am relieved that I don’t have to go through that anymore, but what I really wish is that he would have sought professional help and seen value in himself.
#itsnotyourfault
#postventionisprevention
#abovetherug

Published by abovetherug

After my husband ended his life I was completely devastated and felt as if I was torn into pieces that could never be put back together. How could life go on? The emotional pain he ended was unknowingly passed onto me. I knew I needed help quickly. I joined a support group called SASS (Suicide Awareness Survivor Support) who supports the ones left behind after a loved one's suicide and also helps raise mental health awareness. I will never get over my husband's death, but I now know that I can get through it, thanks to SASS. I sweep nothing under the rug. By starting an open and honest conversation I hope to help break down the stigmas and start raising mental health awareness. Together we can stay above the rug!

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