Today would have been our 10 year anniversary, Brett. Sometimes it is so hard to believe that you are gone and some days I ask myself if you even existed, but none the less, I think about you everyday. I know you thought you were doing me a favor by ending your life, but it had quite the opposite effect. Many of your choices and actions as my husband and as a person were not good, but I would have never wanted this for you. I have tried looking everywhere for our wedding video for 3 years now, but I’m pretty sure you destroyed it the day you killed yourself…like you said you destroyed and ruined our marriage. I just would like to see us cutting that beautiful cake again and how you held me when we danced. I’m trying very hard today to keep myself out of the hole your suicide has unknowingly created. I’m slowly slipping down, but I know I can claw my way back up. I miss you..I hate you…and I love you -Linds
Above the Rug 