January 7, 2018

Yesterday would have marked the 3rd year of when Brett had died had I not stopped him from killing himself that night. I thought he was already dead when I opened the door to our garage. I stood there amongst thick black exhaust, screaming his name. He got out of his car and told me to leave him alone, that he fucked everything up and he had ruined our marriage. I took the keys out of both our cars. I didn’t call the police because he was the police. I thought they wouldn’t believe me or he would get angry at me. I called his best friend, but Brett told him that I made everything up. There is not one day that goes by that I don’t think of him or what happened. I thought that was the worst pain I had ever felt, but I had no idea what was coming 4 months later. April 22nd, 2015 was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Life altering. Finding my husband dead in our garage will never be erased from my mind nor when he tried to kill himself, but I’m coping and managing it the best I can. Don’t ever think you can’t speak up if someone threatens to end their life. It may feel uncomfortable and awkward, but the alternative is far worse then anything you will ever experience.

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