October 6, 2017

I feel for the girlfriend of the Las Vegas shooter..not only is she suspected by the media from having prior knowledge of this attack, she is grieving the loss of all the victims, and mourning the loss of the man she loved and thought she knew. And I know she will be judged for loving this man who did this horrific thing. Brett had made statements to me that he wanted to kill people in his police department and around the city…I also knew he had several guns, a bomb suit, gas masks, knives, a drawer of handcuffs, several bottles of mace… If Brett had chosen to take out his own anger and despair on other people would I have been held accountable? I was in disbelief when I found my husband that Wednesday evening and never would have thought he was possible of killing himself…even though he had attempted 4 months prior. I also continue to be in disbelief with all the information I am finding out about my late husband. I know more about him now that he is dead then I ever knew in the 17 years I was with him. Lots of thoughts are consuming me today..like most days.