October 2, 2017

October 1998 Letter
Page One
October 1998 Letter 1
Page Two
October 1998 Letter 2
Page Three
October 1998 Letter 3
Page Four
October 1998 Letter 4
Page Five

I’m sitting down watching the Las Vegas Massacre on the news and I can’t help but think about a letter my late husband wrote me in 1998 (back before Columbine) and something he had said before he killed himself. Brett had been writing me when he was going to school in New York to become a cinematographer. He was only there a couple of months in 1998 when he wrote that he wanted to come home to me in Kansas and said how he wanted to kill the students in his class. He wrote how wanted to set up across the street and take them all out like a sniper one by one. He also talked in depth about killing a particular classmate because he was complaining of having no money and Brett mentioned that he, himself had suicidal depression. Being 15 I thought everything he wrote was a metaphor and not true. Then, a couple of months before Brett died in 2015 he said how he wanted to kill his co-workers in the police department, the people of Westport, and the people on the KC Plaza. He bought the book “Columbine” and read it 4 or 5 times in the last 3 months of his life. I had read it too when he bought it because in my mind I thought we were losing a connection between us and I wanted to be able to discuss the book with him as a talking point. Do I think Brett could have caused some real damage like yesterday’s events? Do I think Brett realized where he was heading? The news is reporting that the man who killed all these people yesterday..that his divorce or possibly losing a bunch of money in Vegas is the cause for this massacre…they are using that as a catalyst…just like the police department reported my marriage as the cause of Brett’s suicide. Mental illness is far from being treated like we treat a physical illness…my heart goes out to all the victims and families of the Vegas shooting

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