October 16, 2016

I sold Brett’s bike to come to the Dominican..I didn’t have to, but wanted to. The bike was his passion, not mine. I wanted to use the money on something we both enjoyed together…taking a trip. This morning I’m feeling so many things..sorrow, happiness, rage..the list goes on. People say that it will get “easier” and I know now that’s not true. It’s something people say when they don’t know how to comfort you, they mean well, but they can’t even begin to imagine what it feels like to have a loved one end their life, like their child or spouse..a family member. Once upon a time knew what that felt like.. It’s a club no one wants to join and I’m having to build a new normal and a new happiness around that gaping hole inside of me. This trip is bittersweet, but I know it’s good for me. Miss you Brett, your death will never get easier, I’ll never get over it, but I will get through it. I wish you were here by my side, holding my hand on this beautiful beach this morning.Brett 4

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